Whose the godparent?
by snake screamer
Summary: Some of the Figgis Agency discuss who is Abbiejean god-parents.


"So quick question…. Who's AbbieJean godmother." Pam asked

"What?" Cheryl asked

"Well we know who the parents and grandparents are, I wanna know if one of us is the godparents.

"Well i don't think they chosen anyone yet." Ray muttered

"Oh good cause i can tell Archer to make me the Godmother." Pam said

"Hang on a second, why do you get to be the god parent." Krieger said annoyed

"Cause i'm his best friend." Pam said annoyed

"HAHAHA!" Krieger, at seeing Pam annoyeed look he said "Oh your serious."

(linebreak)

"But why is that?" Lana said

"Oh it's not that weird." Archer stated

"You don't see Pam as your best friend as weird, Archer you once beat her up with her own stupid dolphin puppet during our first break up." Lana said annoyed

"Yeah, not my best moment, and well things change Lana. I don't know when we became best friends but she and i have kinda have alot in common, like how we both notice all of us in the office have mess up family relationship."

"Well i wouldn't say messed up-"

"You lied to your family about being a spy due to their reaction, Cyril dad had him trying to one-up him. Krieger father/creator got eaten by his pet dogs, my mother needs no explaination for causing my mental state and krieger as well since she the one who did the dog thing. Ray daddy had him eat a bear heart when he was a kid and then theres the drug farmer brother. and Pam sister edie is such a bitch I literally had to punch her and drag her to save her own sister. Heck even mother got one if my grandmother any indication"

"Okay A) my family relationship is not that bad, and b) why didn't you mention Cheryl."

"Well i can't say anything bad about her deceased parents and trying to do better brother, but..."

(Linebreak)

"Seriously did madness just permeate from your family or what." Pam said After listening to Cheryl speech about her grand uncle plan to create stop pollution by creating more pollution via burning uranium.

"Kinda." Cheryl shrugged. "But point is i can traumatize the baby to not do any of those stuff making me good godparent material."

"But you hate babies!"

"Extremely, but she will grow up, and like my aunt Tabatha once said, it pays to keep a healthy person around as a walking transplant." Cheryl stated

"Wow… that is just messed up." Krieger whistled.

"Your one to talk." Ray said

"The teddy bear toy was REAL you all saw it!" Krieger snapped "And anyway I should be the godparent, I could teach AJ science that make those college charlatans quake in their boots… Plus Archer once said i was his oprah so that puts me in the lead."

"Oh please everyone knows its Lana you have to butter up to get that title, she the one who decided to let her parents raise the kid if she croak and when they die her sister." Ray said "So obviously she chose me as godparents as i am the sanest of all of you combine."

"Yeah but i can protect that kid like crazy as seen during that test where Archer got shot. Not to mention i be like the funnest person for a kid to play with." Pam stated "They want a fun yet kickass someone who can protect the kid."

"Okay so maybe we should ask them." Krieger said "Then we see whose the true godparent."

"Godparents." Ray said

"Huh?"

"Need i remind you idiots that there are TWO god parents, two."

"Oh yeah..."

Ray shook his head "Listen up, i have a way to get our answer without any trouble."

"Hows that?" Krieger asked

"Trick Mrs Archer into asking that question for us." Ray stated.

"Oh i know how to do that!" Krieger said as he quickly left the room to get 'Mallory'.

(Linebreak)

Both Archer and Lana laughed abit as they walked close to the agency but jumped as they see Mallory glaring at them

"Jesus mother what are you mad about now." Archer said

"Godparents." Mallory snapped

"What?"

"Who are AJ godparents?" Mallory asked

"Why do you want to know now?" Lana asked

"Cause i have a nagging suspicion you chose some of the fools in that building just to annoy me." Mallory stated

"So… you waited outside on the off chance to show up just so you could ask that question?" Lana asked

"None of your beeswax missie, now tell me who they are before I lose it."

"If you must know. Its Pam and Ray." Archer said

(In the office building security camera room)

"YES!" Pam shouted

"DAMNIT!" Krieger snapped

"Meh, at least i don't have to butter up to a disgusting baby for the next couple of years." Cheryl shrugged as she handed Ray some money cause she thought the plan wouldn't work."

"And all it took for us to get the answer was one mean woman and the only camera not connected to the bathroom." Ray said counting the money as almost all left that room...

(Linebreak)

"I need to know why those two?" Mallory growled

"Well cause those two seem good candidate but also to annoy you mostly." Archer shrugged

"I KNEW IT!" Mallory snapped

"Mallory calm down, and quite frankly i find it odd that you skip your trip with Ron to see the Los Feliz Murder Mansion just to ask that question." Lana said

"Yeah, normally i see you skipping out on Ron but you been trying to see that mansion when you heard trudy beakman took a photo their." Archer said

"That cause I can one up her by taking a photo on the inside, besides I simply reschedule. Now if you excuse me, now that i have my answer i have to leave now for reasons." Mallory said as she quickly left

"... Does that seem odd to you?" Lana asked

"Yeah but i rather not push it, she still seem pissed about us not telling her the dating thing." Archer shrugged

(Linebreak)

"Good work Mallory 2. Now please head to the lab secret entrance so i can let you rest." Krieger said

"Yes Doctor Krieger." the android said


End file.
